NSFW

I tried to watch porn. I started to picture her instead of the girls that were actually there. Those were some brief, intense seconds. I had to stop the attempt, I couldn’t take it.

The greatest blessing, and the worst pain. She even helps out with my addictions.

Yes, I’m in love.

Exactly what that means for my brain I don’t quite get though.

Maybe, just maybe, this has been the most healthy experience I’ve lived in a while. I liked someone, respected their relationship, and earned a boost for my internal organs, all while doing some intense writing. I made gifts, worked out, made strategies to avoid pain, and eventually just put the thing to rest in a civilized, calm manner. I’m digging this new me. 2020 here we come!

Here’s to painful goodbyes, and new, on-the-budget beginnings.

polaco

January 3rd 2020

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