Short story about a spider

It knits the web on appropriate spots. Hidden, but trodden roads. The soft and sturdy, silky linings are a gift of its fathers. The engineering, it has to provide. A true threat for its size, even humans fear it. Better to be on the safe side with these fellas.

Another little thing follows its instincts. It climbs up the tree. Or it flies into the dark place on the leaves, close to the roof. “Let’s gather some nutrients”, it thinks. “Let’s have sex, because I’ll likely just live like a day!” It minds its own business. Then it falls into the trap. The strings are coated with glue; there’s no escape. “Help”, it cries. “Help”.

It detects the vibrations, and wakes up.

“Oh? What’s this now?
Why hello there little buddy. You look… Kind of appetizing, actually.
I’ll just come over slowly… Oh, wait, I was already walking towards you, I apologize.
What? Oh there’s foam in my mouth… Never mind that, I’m sure we can get along… Look at you, moving all weird, are you cold?

Hello. Here’s a little kiss for you.

Now, let me wrap you with my blanket. There, isn’t that much better? You look so cute when you sleep, like a little angel. I’ll let you rest for now, my own children are heavy, and they could hatch any time now, so I too have to prepare. I hope they’ll do okay without a father. He was delicious, I’ll tell you that. I’m sure they’ll be beautiful. Ah… How I long to rest… Life is harsh, I’d do anything to help make it easier on my young ones.

Ah, here they come! Welcome to this world my lovelies. Hey! That tickles. What a great time to be alive, how wonderful all of this has been. *yawns* Feeling very tired right now, I guess I’ll finally take that nap…

Remember… To wear… Condoms… You little… Bastards…


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