The only reason we’ll actually wake up in the morning is to stop hearing her moans in the bed over.
You peek over the little wall that separates your bed from the others. Red bed-sheets, they are finished now. You think you see her feet and hair. She lays on a corner of the bed, the top left one, in fetal position. The red sheet covers her and her lover gently. He lays on the bottom rightmost, and is too, covered in the same position. I don’t spare him a second, and acknowledge him only in my peripheral. He’s still just a faceless fake, so I know his information is not reliable.
Only the heavy breathing and the misty, pheromonal air attest to the act. “No”, I say. I was only half asleep in real life.
“No”, I repeat, and this time I sit on the bed.
The image is still not dead. “No”, one last time. I’m back in reality.
I guess I’m better at waking up now.
I look again over the little wall. Only rows of beds now.
I lay in the only center bunk, a sort of privileged position. The youthful crown of decay.
I cringe at her recollection, her image now pops an internal mechanism which makes me recoil. Self defense.
How and why did it come to this? I’ve always trusted evolution, but, seriously man, what the fuck. Where’s the logic; what’s the point of falling this hard in love? Shouldn’t there be some sort of fuse, a circuit breaker?
Whatever, I can afford it. Sure, maybe I’m a coward for leaving. Sure, cunt, maybe I can afford waking up four more times like this, crying and with a boner.
She’s perfect, don’t get me wrong, but I’m drawing the line at my sanity.
“Thou shalt not covet.”
Damn it. In my defense, I initially wasn’t aware of this neighbor.
So, turns out it was to protect me. As always, being rash leads to big cuts. I’ll listen next time, oh father who art in heaven.
Is there time to read the bible? Should we? I guess I’ll just wait until someone who reads it shows up to ask him about it. Yes, if it’s not a her then I won’t pay attention.
Here’s something to listen to: Jesus Christ Superstar.
01 – 01 – 2020